I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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