Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
