dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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