then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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