Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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