Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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