And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
