Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
