Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
