I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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