Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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