I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
