Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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