They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
