I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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