no, he came in my armpit
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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