So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize