the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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