I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
