Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
