Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
