The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
