Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
