She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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