I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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