We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
