Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
