is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Come on in and take your pants off
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