but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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