there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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