I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There r osticjed everywhere
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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