Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Everclear isn't food dammit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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