i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
