Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
