i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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