Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
