Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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