I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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