He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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