Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
