Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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