I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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