the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
