You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
