Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
