My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
a search helicopter?!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
