She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
