Your mouth is God's brothel.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize