I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
