i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
