You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
