I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
