at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize