Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
