So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
