So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
last night I used snow as a chaser
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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