This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
