Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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