Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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