She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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