Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
A+ Viking dick
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
