are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
