Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize