You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
